The iconic Radcliffe Camera, a library and reading room, connected to the Bodleian Library by underground tunnels
And just like that, the Google search I dreamed of over a year ago has been my reality for four weeks. I lived my midsummer dream at Oxford. Now I wake up and continue searching the great wide web of dreams.
The last week was definitely the most intense. And getting a nasty cold did not help matters. My work hard, play hard lifestyle was catching up with me. Not only did we have classes from 9-6 most days, we also practiced our class scenes in the evening for hours to finalize preparing for our final day showcase. We also had more evening activities. On Tuesday, we had a grad forum with all of the graduate students in the program from schools like Yale and Julliard. It was so insightful to hear from their perspectives as young actors who go through this type of intense acting training on a regular basis.
On Wednesday, I gave myself a nice little break after my individual Shakespeare tutorial and ventured off campus. I had heard that Cowley Road was a great street for good food. I wanted to explore it before my time in Oxford was up. I discovered a darling vintage store with nice, authentic vintage clothing pieces. My dream store! I got a hat, some silk scarves, and two beautiful beaded tops. I ate a delicious lunch at a Mediterranean restaurant called “Pistache.” I was lured into it by their gorgeous pastries in the window, but the food was AMAZING. I had chicken korma and rice in tomato paste, a smoothie and a pistachio pastry for dessert. I got my nails done and also bought some flowers. It was an afternoon of sunshine for the soul amidst such an intense week- A Gatorade break during the last leg of a marathon- if you will. Or better known as a #treatyoself moment. (click to scroll through horizontal photo galleries)
That evening, we had an interesting Q&A with Scottish actor, Brian Cox. It was great to hear his insights on sustaining such a long career in film and theatre.
“Every part is the extending of yourself.”
Thursday evening, we had a master class with the very endearing British actor, John Heffernan. We did various individual and group exercises while reading works of Shakespeare to help better interpret the text’s rhythm, meaning and emotion. The last half of the class, John used other exercises to workshop several monologues for students who volunteered to perform. It was wonderful to watch such talented students step up to the plate and workshop complex works for everyone.
My group was really excited to ask John about his experience playing the role of Peter in the play “After the Dance” by Terence Rattigan because we had been studying that play in our Modern class and would be performing scenes from it on Open Day. He told us that Benedict Cumberbatch played the role of David, and the first “Sherlock” episode aired halfway through the play’s run. Benedict came to the dressing room and said someone had just recognized him in line at the store. John replied, “I have a feeling your life is about to really change.” The next day, there was a line around the block to see the play.
A photo from our last class- our fun Movement class with Mick Barnfather. Lots of laughs, songs and clowning around took place in this loft studio. It will be greatly missed.
Friday was our last day of classes and I was up late that evening with my scene partner putting as much work in as we could to bring our scene to life the next day during our performance. Saturday morning was very special. All 90 students met on the lawn for a physical and vocal warm up with teachers Mick Barfather, Jackie Snow and John Tucker. It was so much fun. I kept thinking how lucky I was to be one of the 90 people on that lawn commemorating the end of four very special weeks.
My group’s performances were in the afternoon so I was able to watch some of the other groups perform, which was really wonderful. I watched Madeleine Potter’s Modern class perform scenes from Ibsen’s “Hedda Gabler.” I loved being able to watch some of my friends perform work from the same playwright I had been studying for “A Doll’s House.” Each time the actress playing Hedda changed, they would exchange a red scarf. I loved that visual for the audience.
Shortly before my first performance, two of my best friends arrived at Magdalen to watch me and spend the next two weeks adventuring with me!! My friend Emerald, who I took dance classes with in college at Oral Roberts University, and my friend Lexy, who I met this year because she competed for Miss Missouri. I had prayed for one of my friends to be able to come so that I could travel safely after the program, and God blessed me in double portion to make it possible for two of my friends to come!!
I title this photo- "They don't even go here.." from "Mean Girls" To my right, Lexy and Emerald. Two girls who know how to tolerate my exhausted, sickly self dragging them around Oxford with love and laughter.
“When you trust yourself, that’s when the work pays off. ”
My group’s first performances were for our Modern class. Some students performed scenes from “After the Dance.” I performed a scene from Ibsen’s “A Doll’s House” as Nora with my classmate Adam as Krogstad. We worked really hard on this scene and it made the performance all the more fun to explore. I felt great about it. It wasn’t an easy road to that performance, but it all paid off. My professor Irina Brown said it was “stunning.” :D I’ll take that!
Our second performances were for our Shakespeare class, taught by John Gorrie. Some performed scenes from a “Midsummer Night’s Dream.” I performed scenes from “Twelfth Night” as Viola. (Amanda Byne’s role in the spinoff movie “She’s the Man.”) I performed the famous monologue “I left no ring with her.” I had a love-hate relationship with that monologue because of it’s complexity, but in the end, I grew a lot as an actress because of it.
That evening we had a cocktail reception at my favorite place on campus, the beautiful cloisters. It was a joyful celebration of new friends and hard work. We hugged and we laughed and took photos. After that, we made our way to the dining hall for our formal farewell banquet. It was very bittersweet. I was nostalgic to say goodbye to my dream and my new friends, slaphappy I had survived the intense program and deliriously tired from it all. I think the feelings were mutual because the room was rather rowdy. Example- some students were standing on chairs and singing. After settling us down, BADA Dean and Director, Ian Woolridge left us with sweet words. We applauded our incredible professors and took a moment of silence to frame the moment in our memories. Due to my deliriousness and the goofiness of a room filled with actors, I had a hard time not laughing during that moment of silence.
After dinner, there was a disco party in the Old Kitchen Bar on campus right next to the dining hall. It was so fun to dance beneath the neon lights with my classmates and even some of my professors believe it or not! haha. A bunch of people went out that night, but I decided to stay in with my beloved jet-lagged friends. I knew we were going to make the most of the next day in Oxford and with my cold, I was in no condition to go out dancing all night. Although, I did stay up most of the night talking to some of my friends who lived on my floor. (Whoops)
The next day, I packed up my room and gave Emerald and Lexy a crash tour of Oxford. We had a magical day doing the must-do’s I hadn’t gotten to do yet in the city that had stolen my heart. First, we had high tea at the beautiful Grand Café I had been dying to visit. It was splendid.
After that, we did a little shopping in quaint bookstores and the Oxford covered market. We toured Christ Church university, the grandest and most iconic college in Oxford. Scenes from the Harry Potter movies were filmed here and the Great Dining Hall set for the films was modeled after the dining hall on this campus. It was neat to see it in person, but I couldn’t help but keep thinking that Magdalen was more beautiful. I don’t just think I’m biased, I think I’m right. I think I quite possibly lived and studied at the most beautiful college (in the world) for a month. I am so lucky. My Hogwarts dreams have been as fulfilled as they could ever be.
Next we climbed to the top of University Church and got a gorgeous view of Oxford from all sides of a 360 degree view. We climbed this tiny spiral staircase to the top. It felt like a real adventure for this claustrophobic chick. I loved it! Our view of the iconic Radcliffe Camera was gorgeous. I even recognized one of my BADA friends walking down below and hollered to get his attention and exchange hellos. The inside of the church is mentionably gorgeous as well. We even happened upon a lovely evening choir.
We tried to get into the famous Bodleian Library, but realized one must buy a tour, or have a special Oxford student ID to get into the restricted, underground parts of the library. I’m not worried though, I know I will be back. :) It all seems so "Chamber of Secrets" to me and I have a new bucket list item. ;) This time, we opted for ice cream cones.
I gave the girls a tour of my beloved Magdalen College, the dining hall, the English flower beds, the deer pasture and even took them on the walking path C.S. Lewis and Oscar Wilde enjoyed themselves as students of Magdalen. I surprised them by taking them to see a tree made of steel in the woods. The sculpture, called "Y" was created by artist Mark Wallinger and installed in 2008 to commemorate Magdalen College's 550 year anniversary. The first time I unexpectedly stumbled upon it during a walk, it took my breath away. I find it so enchanting. It blends in beautifully with its surroundings, making the image more mezmerising. It reminds me of something Tim Burton might create. I would explain it as a silver tree growing in the shape of love.
To finish our day in Oxford, we went on a lovely boat ride on the river that runs along Magdalen. It’s technically called “punting” because someone stands and uses a long stick to push off the bottom of the river and propel the boat forward. We had a sweet boy named Rowan as our punter. Then it was time for us to catch the bus to London for more adventures. I was sad to say goodbye to my beautiful campus and Oxford.
In closing, my midsummer dream at Oxford wasn’t easy, but it was more than anything I could have ever imagined. It taught me more and stretched me to grow more than I ever imagined it would. It tested me emotionally, mentally and physically. It gave me incredible friends. It drew me closer to literature and acting. It helped me learn more about life and about myself. I often had to remind myself that it was an "intensive" and that it should feel like I was straining, striving for something just out of my grasp. I feel like I went to acting bootcamp and came out panting, but stronger. I cared about my work, which made it more precious and delicate.
A lot of people have asked me what my biggest takeaways were. Although there were many, the overall thing I learned within myself was this: Your passion and desire to do something must be bigger than your fear or doubts. If it is, then go for it and hold nothing back.
And hey, that mentality just might get you a dreamy trip to Europe or something like that.
Other than having a cold and the dryer not working for me in the laundry room, and seeing another spider quite possibly the size of my hand in my living quarters, I can't report any weekly woes this time because I am too awestruck by how good life has been to me this past month.
Ok, I will give you one just for the sake of humor. It's been a woe from the get-go, but I was trying to be coy. Off the record, but for the record, the toilets at Magdalen do not work very well. At all. The pipes are really old. Moments like those teach you to appreciate the basic things in life.
P.S. I want to say thank you to everyone who mailed me a card or a letter. It meant so much to me to feel your love and thoughts from all the way across the pond while I was tired and or maybe a little discouraged at times. Each one brightened my day more than you know. I never expected such an abundance of sweet thoughtfulness. My classmates kept asking me, "Why do you get so much mail?" I replied, "I'm very blessed. Coming from a small town has its perks." ;) The first photo is sweet notes from my mom's class at the North Missouri Center for Youth and Families.
“It is never ‘goodbye.’ It is always ‘au revoir.’”
The "Bridge of Sighs," my favorite thing in Oxford. It makes me sigh every time I look at it. I bought a beautiful painting of it from a gypsy street artist. It's my favorite trip purchase.
To get into this program, I was required to audition with two monologues: Shakespeare and modern. The modern monologue I chose was "Celeste" from Maureen Hunter's "Transit of Venus." I have shared it below, because I love how Celeste's cry of courage to see the world became mine. I love that her dreams and situation were so similar to mine and her words became my ticket to Oxford. Like her, I had never traveled the world. I'm a girl from a town of 400 people. My parents have hardly been out of the country. Like Celeste, I saw "mirrors reflecting mirrors" of all I could do and all of things I could see if I only had the chance.
Earlier this year, I performed this monologue at an appearance as Miss Missouri shortly after my Oxford audition. I was emceeing the Southwest Little Theatre Angle Awards for the Washburn high school drama department. I was sharing about my aspirations to go to Oxford and asked the audience if they would like me to perform? The director Wyatt Hester dimmed the lights for me, and it was the most magical experience of my acting life. In that moment, I felt like an actress. I felt like I had the whole world in the palm of my hand and that even the dust particles in the light were listening to Celeste's yearning for more. And to think, I was in a little cozy theatre in southern Missouri. And to think, of all Celeste has done for me.
From "Transit of Venus" by Maureen Hunter, Canada Playwrights Express
CELESTE
No. I don't do it, you see. I don't do any of it. I don't baste, I don't sew, I don't knit, I don't mend, I don't darn, I don't tat, I don't embroider and I do not do petti-point! I do, however, read. And because I can read, I can learn. Oh, I can't actually travel – you have the advantage of me there - but I can read about travel, I can dream about it, I can imagine what it's like. I've been everywhere with you. You don't know it, but I have. I know every inch of sea you've sailed, every island you've set foot on. I know how the rains come sweeping across the mountains of Ile de France, and how the island itself lies curled in the sea like an oyster. I know about the doldrums and trade winds and tides. Tides! Tides are so mysterious. We've known about them since the days of Alexander, yet there's so much we don't know. Why, for instance are there two high tides and two low tides every day in some places, and only one in others? Why the tides of Saint Malo rise almost ten meters and only a fraction of that on the islands you visited? They do; did you know that? I want to know why. I want to know everything there is to know before I die. This was your gift to me, you see? You pointed me at the sky and said, look! And when I looked, what did I see? Mirrors! Mirrors reflecting mirrors reflecting mirrors, on and on to infinity. So much to know, so much to learn, so much to wonder about. Once you begin to wonder, it's impossible, isn't it – inconceivable! – to abandon that sense of wonder for anything as straight-forward and mundane as a needle and a piece of thread.